UVA...again.

Was back at UVA on Friday.
Still processing. Will post later.

I'm a quitter...

I went on the Oral Thorazine on a Sunday night.
I felt OK (just OK) until Monday night. at which point I started to feel a little pukey, and some leg cramps. Kinda like if you run but don't stretch first?

I had severe leg and arm pain with the Thorazine the first time around so I was a little worried but wanted to keep going. My head was pounding so hard it felt and sounded like there was a damn life evac helicopter behind my eyes.

Tuesday the leg pain was worse, Wednesday was horrific and I was actually vomiting. You can't take anything for vomiting on Thorazine.

Stopped Thorazine Wednesday morning like a quitter and went to the ER at Fair Oaks, because they'll treat you like a human being there. Got fluids, benedryl, phenergan and a dose of pain meds for the leg pain and it helped the headache as well even though you aren't supposed to take narcotics for headaches. La de da.

I'm a quitter.

Thorazine, again...

I am currently on a two week trial of oral Thorazine.

If you'll remember, I did Thorazine in the hospital at UVa with very little success and it was nothing short of a nightmare being in there. I'm hoping for at least some results so that I can stop being in bed all day long.

Fingers crossed, prayers, good ju ju, whatever it is that you believe in...keep on believing. Please please please...

Massage

Gioia and Christopher teamed up and signed me up for a massage while we were at Great Wolf.

Ill admit that I was timid about this. Terrified even. I don't like being touched anywhere that might set off a headache, and I was already hurting.

It was awesome though. The girl (woman...she was older than my mom...she had a daughter older than me) that did it had suffered from migraines and was very gentle. She didn't do anything without asking if it felt ok and if the pressure was ok, etc.

She even gave me the name of a place to go here in Manassas to try and get some more relief like she did.

Win-win.

New Year, New Hope

Happy 2014!
Chris and I were fortunate to spend NYE with his parents, as they drove down from Massachusetts on the 30th just before the big snow storm that plowed into the northeast.

I felt ok the few days before they got here but I think the added stress of having them see our home for the first time and wanting it to look just right (clean, Christmassy, etc...) plus knowing that we probably wouldn't be getting much sleep that night because we were going to have a tiny toddler house guest (our favorite..Jackaroo) threw me into another episode.

I held my own pretty well though. Nothing a few naps and some po Benadryl and phenergan couldn't handle.
On 1/2 we headed to Great Wolf Lodge with the larger of the Komar boys and their parents for some fun. My head was killer there the entire time, but I just ignored it and played with my boys.
I knew I would hate myself if I didn't.
You can't make up for lost time at a place like that!!

Week of Christmas...

I haven't written too much lately, because I honestly didn't know how to write about the amazingness that was going on.
The week before/of Christmas I felt better than I had in a YEAR.
I didn't even know what to do with that. I know that sounds weird, because that's all I've wanted for years.
I wouldn't call these days completely "pain free," by any means...but I was able to be awake and up and about for several hours at a time, get things done around the house, and celebrate the week before  Christmas like a champ!!

We went to Christmas town in Busch gardens with the boys, kept Jax overnight again (!!!) and took him to see the lights at Bull Run park, made cookies, decorated the house, went shopping, wrapped gifts, delivered donations to the humane society and hosted an ugly sweater party! Oh!! And kept Aron and Jason and chased the firetruck with Santa on top, and went to the Christmas party at the firehouse, which I haven't been able to go to in years!!

Christmas Eve, back to normal. Vomiting, high heart rate, dizziness, and severe headache. And every day since then. Ugh.

I'm back on zanaflex every night in addition to my regular meds and have an appointment with Dr. Brown on 1/2.

Just a quick update.

Want to talk about FML? Really?

I haven't been able to keep anything down in about 48 hours. Not even my go-to, grape Propel.

When I can't keep my meds down, there is always the option of phenergan suppositories...sorry if that's TMI, but its life. At this point those aren't even an option, so its call the neuros and hi-ho, hi-ho off to the ER we go.

FML. I really hate that acronym. The next time I see some stupid person is all "Oh FML nursing school finals week," or "FML we're out of wine." or some kind of nonsense I might loose my shit. I'll tell you FML.

I can't finish nursing school, or get back to work, or drive my car or even get in the shower some days. I'll tell you about FML.

And on the same note...I have no reason at all to say FML.
I have a family that loves me.
I have an amazing boyfriend that loves me and takes care of me, even though I'm sometimes (OK...most of the time!) much less than desirable. He deserves the very best, and I'm so lucky just to be able to spend time with him, let alone be able to call him my boyfriend and share this amazing home with him
I have a beautiful, 3 bedroom home, with a big backyard for my doggie to romp and play in
I have my dog...who is just the greatest. I mean really you guys. He is crazy and funny and cute!
I have awesome, caring friends.
I live in a country where I'm free to say and do things like divorce and 2nd chances
I have an illness, and it sucks...big time and I might be in a lot of pain but in ALL seriousness, in the GRAND scheme of life. I have horrible headaches. I don't have a tiny baby in my arms who is dying of cancer. I'm not missing a limb. I'm not blind or deaf...I can see and hear my beautiful nephews!
One day they ARE GOING TO FIX ME you guys!!!!

So no...DON'T FML!!!! And stop saying that, you morons!!